Welcom

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Love on the rocks, straight up, shaken, or stirred? All of the above, I presume!! Seems to be that love has definitely been shakey for many people within the past month or so. Here are a few amazing things I’ve learned: 1) I’ve recently discovered that men are indeed the new women. Yes, you read right. They now come with feelings. Who would have thought? Ladies, I guess it’s time to wear the pants. Should we wear suspenders too? Thank God they are in fashion this season! 2) That a Jewish man is hard to convert into giving Judiasm a rest. What happened to the revolution of JJ (Jewish for Jesus)? Get a grip…..if love lands on your lap. Take it. God will understand! 3) That a man is not really looking for a gorgeous girl anymore. Supposedly, they’re too high maintenance….too much woman to keep you on your toes. They’re too lazy for that shit. So now they are hitting on the ugly girls. Because they can retain them and they will be loyal. I wonder what the cover of Vogue will look like? jajajajajaja 4) That we live in a world where all the ugly girls will soon have the hottest boyfriends! 5) That going back on the meat market is vicious. GIRLS, IT’S A NIGHTMARE OUT THERE! Holy smokes. I guess guys in those places are really good for 1 thing. Getting free drinks and laughing at the effort they make - cuz it’s all fake (for the most part - there could be exceptions - but they are as rare as life on Jupiter). And you will most probably never see them again anyway. Have fun - that’s probably all it will be. 6) That even the ROCKSTARS feel lonely. No matter how many groupies, bitches, hos, punanna they got……they will still feel empty, alone, helpless. Rockstars, let go of your f-ing ego, and give someone a chance…..try to be a little faithful….it’s not gonna kill you. She/He can be all that and more in bed…..ask and you shall recieve. If not, you dump her/him! And move on to the next groupie!! 7) That no matter how many people I date and break up with, they will always care about me. Even to all those that I gave the boot to and still call me to go out for drinks. You guys have a heart of gold! I swear it! You will be blessed…..10 fold! That even the "bad-boy-playboy" can find love…and not go out with me anymore. I miss my partner-in-crime! I wish you all the best. You deserve it, my little yang. It’s time to pass those tired and worn out shoes to someone else! 9)That Erika now has discovered she has FEELINGS?!?!?!?! What?!?! Thanks to you know who…. Well, kikissss, I owe you one! I thought I was a ball of metal! I should make a cameo appearance on the DISCOVERY HEALTH CHANNEL!!! jajajaja "How Erika Got Feelings" will be the name of the episode. 10) Lastly, I have to include this quote a good friend just told me. "Married & Bored? Single & Lonely?" Damn, thats a hard one! I love you all guys! E

Current mood: amused

I’m
currently in this phase where I’m digging the whole dude w/ tattoos
story. I am on the prowl as of Friday afternoon……jajaja The bigger
the better! Me and my phases. So here it goes.

Currently accepting applications for:

Male w/tattoos (nice ones - EX: spiderwebs on elbows - NO TWEETY BIRDS or your mother’s picture/Jesus Christ/etc.)

Must:
Have a source of income
Be into House music
Be funny
Facial hair - a plus  *evil grin - jajaja*
Italian or Jewish - a plus *I love those*
Like to drink and smoke - AKA - Party
Wears fur on occasion
Have a SEX,DRUGS,AND ROCK N ROLL attitude *without the actual use of drugs, please* I have enough drama of my own to handle
Is comfortable with his feminine side
Wears lots of silver…..no tongue rings please….that’s so over.
Must be over the age of 24 - NO EXCEPTIONS - well, maybe….jajajaja

Damn….the kid from last night fit the profile, BUT NO TATTOOS! Looked
exactly like the guy from MTV Homewrecker. niceeeeeee. That was great
jajaja - I am so loving Guesthouse right now;) That place is
trouble…..

Back
from hitting 8 cities.
Paris-Rome-Firenze-Pisa-Genova-Monaco-Nice-Cannes. Losing my boarding
pass in Paris. Hunting it down with the French police and AA staff. For
making me get practically naked because they think I’m a threat for
passing through Paris - De Gaulle security check twice. For outlets
that actually work with my hair appliances. For the hot Romans. And
celebrating my new found friends "The Benjamins." Got a phat raise
yesterday. See - my crazy fashion sense does pay off.

 
So I’m
at Naima….grabbing some drinks discussing a potential business plan
with a partner. I’m so inspired since I hit Rome and from reading "How
to Mastermind the Store."

So anyway, discussing a business
proposition during drinks - we decide break the serious talk and check
out HOME. We bounce in and MTV is filming some documentary of this
club. Some chick decides to drop trou and show us all her thong. What?
CLASSY! Hence is why I never go out to these places. So raunchy and
chachy. So I’m standing by the bar waiting for some champagne
(celebrating the Benjamins) - and a couple is straight up staring at
me. My sassy ass (as usual when drinking) turns around and looks at
them and I’m like "Can I help you?" The 18-year old chick is like
"Girl, you are hot." Her 50-year old dude is like "You are so
gorgeous."

So, what? Am I supposed to participate in a 3-some
now because of the flattering comments? Dude, unless you want to buy me
a drink….do not talk to me or my people. My "potential businesss
partner" jumps in and says he’s my boyfriend. The chick’s dude is now
chatting up my faux b-friend and is telling him how he wants to hit
this …la la la. I turn around and talk to my friend and tell him how
creepy this scenario is…….and my ass gets straight up felt up.
WHAT?!?!?! The hell with this noise!!! Pissed off….I grab my fake
boyfriend and leave this place.

Head to Cielo (cuz it’s the
only decent place left in this city). Take some souveniers to my
people. Give one of my bartenders a keychain from the Vatican. He tells
me "Erika, I’m Jewish." jajajajajajajajajajajajaja Well it’s the
thought that counts. Saw Adil. God knows - in another time and place -
we would have been the perfect couple. Maybe it shall be - when we’re
both cats.

So that was my Wednesday night. The rated G version. Never a dull moment.